Hope is the last thing to die
by DefyingGravity1103
Summary: When Finn Hudson finds out that his 5 year old daughter suffers from leukemia he believes it's the end of the world. The fight against cancer is beyond hard, it's exhausting and sometimes hopeless and if it wasn't for the incredible nurse Rachel Berry he probably would've given up a long time ago... /Finchel AU
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This is my very first fanfiction and I have no writing experience at all. I just had this idea stuck in my head for a while now and I wanted know what other people think about it. So enjoy and please let me know what you think.**

**P.S.: All the grammar and spelling mistakes are mine but English isn't my first language so please don't be too critical about it **

**ENJOY!**

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Finn sat in the waiting area of doctor Martin's office. His 5 year old daughter Briella sat in his lap and was fast asleep, her head pressed against his chest and Finn repeatedly ran a hand through her soft, light brown hair. He placed his hand on her forehead which still felt very hot. She had a fever for 5 days now and her forehead felt like a piece of hot coal. Then he caught a glimpse of her face which looked exhausted and pale as a ghost. For two weeks Briella had an indefinable illness and Finn did everything to make it go away but somehow it didn't seem to get any better. She had bad stomach aches, threw up every now and then and had a constant headache. Briella was that type of kid who got sick easily. She had the flu every winter and almost every spring she caught at least one cold.

But this time it seemed to be worse than all the other times. Normally when Briella was sick she still wanted some action, wanted to do something, for example watch a movie with Finn. But this time she was just tired all the time, she cried a lot and she was very clingy. Not that Finn would mind, he loved snuggling with his daughter but it worried him. Last night he had to sleep in her room, otherwise she wouldn't have slept at all. He had massaged her temples all night long to make the headache go away and around 2.30 in the morning she had finally fallen asleep. Finn slightly started to panic but he didn't want to scare Briella so he tried not to show it. She was his everything and he wouldn't be able to deal with it if something happened to her.

Briella had been born when he had been 19 years and in college. His ex girlfriend (and Briella's mom) had been on birth control that time but somehow it had failed and she had gotten pregnant despite it. She had originally wanted to give up the baby for adoption but Finn had already loved his baby so much that he had talked her into keeping it. Somewhere deep down he had always known that it hadn't made her happy. For her the baby had been a burden, so two months after the birth she had left him and Briella. The first few months alone with his daughter had been rough but somehow Finn had managed to finish college and now Briella was the joy of his life. Sometimes he felt sorry for ex girlfriend because she missed out so many wonderful things but then he thought about how she had rejected the most amazing person on earth. Suddenly he heard a door slam shut and Briella started wiggling in his lap, woken up by the noise.

"Daddy" she whimpered and clutched to him tightly.

"I'm here, princess, I'm here" he said and blew a kiss to her pale cheek.

"Don't leave me, daddy" she said and snuggled into his chest.

"I won't. How are you feeling, princess?" he asked.

"My stomach hurts. And my head. My entire body hurts so bad" she whimpered and tears formed in her eyes.

"It's ok. Dr Martin will give you something which will make the pain go away" he said.

"Massage my temples?" she asked and looked at him with her big blue eyes.

"Of course" Finn said and smiled a little. Then he pressed his fingers to her temples and started massaging them lightly. He could feel Briella relaxing in his arms, her breath becoming deep and even. But then a receptionist in white clothing walked into the waiting area.

"Mr Hudson? Dr Martin is now ready for you" she said. Finn nodded, picked ahalf asleep Briella up and followed the receptionist into one of the treatment rooms where Dr Martin was waiting.

"Hello Mr Hudson. And who's our patient today?" he asked in a friendly tone and smiled at Finn lightly.

"My daughter Briella" he said and placed Briella on the couch in the room. Briella's eyes snapped open and she instantly grabbed Finn's hand.

"It's ok, princess. I'm here" he whispered and squeezed her hand lightly.

"Well, hello Briella. How are you feeling?" Dr Martin asked and smiled at Briella.

"Bad. My body hurts all over and I have to throw up sometimes" she said.

"Well, sounds like the flu to me" Dr Martin said and looked at Finn.

"I don't know. I know her behavior when she has the flu because trust me, she has the flu every winter but this is something different" Finn said.

"Briella, does it feel worse than when you're normally sick or is it the same?" Dr Martin asked, looking at Briella questioningly.

"Way worse" she said and cuddled into Finn's side desperately.

"Are you sure?" he asked and Briella nodded. The doctor took out his thermometer and put it beneath Briella's armpit. After a few minutes it beeped and the doctor looked.

"Her temperature is alarmingly high" he said and looked at Finn intensely.

"I think it'd be best if I would take a blood sample of her and send it the laboratory. Then we'll know for sure" he said. Finn gulped and nodded.

"Are you going to give me a syringe?" she asked and looked frightened.

"I'm sorry" the doctor said and Briella started tearing up. Finn bent down to her level.

"Hey, princess, don't cry" he said and wiped the tears away with his thumb.

"But I'm scared" she said and shivered.

"It's just a tiny little prick. It doesn't hurt" he said.

"Promise?" she asked.

"Pinky promise" Finn replied. Then a receptionist entered the room, a white plate with a syringe on her hands. The doctor cleaned Briella's upper arm and then took the syringe in his hands.

"Ready?" he asked. Briella squeezed Finn's hand and nodded slightly. Then the doctor pushed the needle into her arm and Briella whimpered, her eyes pinched shut.

"Shh, the needle is already inside. Now the doctor just has to pull some blood out" Finn said and stroked her head gently.

"Daddy, it hurts" she said as the doctor started pulling the blood out of her arm.

"I know. But it's almost done" Finn said. Then he held her close to his body and rubbed comforting circles into her tiny back. Finn hated to see his little girl in so much pain and he would've taken it for her instantly if he could. But all he could do was hold her close and whisper words of comfort to her.

"And we're done" the doctor suddenly said. Briella opened her eyes and looked around.

"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked.

"A little dizzy" Briella admitted.

"That's normal. Just be careful and don't walk around too much. So, I think we're done for the moment. I'll send the samples to the laboratory and I think they should be back within three days. Meanwhile I'll give you this antibiotic" he said and handed Finn a little package.

"Manual is inside. Other than that I think I'll call you in about three days" he said. Finn nodded and then he and Briella left the doctor's office.

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That evening Finn carried Briella into his bedroom, laying down next to her on the king size bed.

"Daddy, I feel sick again" she whispered. Finn had placed a bucket next to the bed in case Briella had to throw up again.

"Just relax. Try to calm your stomach. Then the nausea will fade again" he said and kissed her forehead.

"I can't" she cried and started gagging. Finn immediately grabbed the bucket and placed it in front of her just in time. Briella threw up heavily while Finn held her hair back and held the bucket.

"Shh, it's ok. It's ok" he tried to comfort her. After she was sure that she had finished, she laid down into the pillows again, feeling weak and exhausted. She could do nothing except crying and whimpering.

"When is this going to be over?" she asked and looked at Finn. Finn's heart broke for his little girl.

"Soon, princess, very soon" he whispered. Then he ran a hand over her eyelids and her eyes closed

"I'm so tired" she whispered.

"Try to sleep. I'll be here" he said and pulled her close, trying to put her at ease somehow.

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Three days later Finn was working in the kitchen while Briella was asleep on the couch. With the antibiotic the nausea had faded and she didn't have a constant headache anymore but she still felt pretty bad. Finn got a little more optimistic because she had started to get more lively again. She had started playing with her dolls again and she didn't cry all the time anymore. She still couldn't go to sleep herself but that wasn't such a big deal since Finn had the king size bed anyway. Right now he was cleaning the kitchen counter when the telephone rang.

"Finn Hudson speaking" he said.

"Hello Mr Hudson, this is Dr Martin. I need you and your daughter to come to my office immediately. We have the result of her blood samples and we need you here right now" he said, sounding a little in panic.

"Ok, we're on our way" Finn said before he ended the call, praying that that everything was alright with Briella. But judged by the doctor's voice it didn't seem like it.

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**Good? Bad? Please leave a review, let me know what you think and tell me whether I should continue or not. Rachel will appear in the second or third chapter :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2 :)**

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Finn held Briella's hand tightly when they entered Dr Martin's office.

"Daddy, why are we in here again? I already feel better and I haven't been sick in two days" said the girl and looked at him with her big, innocent eyes. Finn didn't know what to tell her, of course she wouldn't understand.

"Dr Martin just wanted to see us again" he said and squeezed her hand a little.

"You look scared" she stated. Finn ran a hand over her head and tried to smile reassuringly for her.

"I'm just a little nervous" he admitted. Briella ducked her head and her face wrinkled a little. Finn didn't know what she was thinking about but he hoped that her thoughts were nicer than his own.

Dr Martin was already waiting for them. He stood in the doorframe of one of the treatment rooms and called them in immediately.

"Hello, Mr Hudson, Briella" he said and a professional smile appeared on his face but Finn could tell that it wasn't real. He saw worry and a trace of pity in his eyes. His heart started beating faster and he swallowed once, twice, until the lump in his throat disappeared. Indescribable fear crept up inside him and made his body feel cold and uncomfortable.

"Briella, why don't you go over to the playing area, so that I can talk to your dad for a few minutes?" Dr Martin asked and looked at Briella. The girl swallowed and nodded silently.

"I'll pick you up in a few minutes" Finn said and bent down to kiss her cheek. Briella looked up at him, fear and confusion written all over her face. Then she turned around and left the room.

"Mr Hudson, please sit down" said Dr Martin and pulled out a chair for Finn on one side of his desk. He himself sat down across from Finn.

"She's going to live, right?" Finn burst out in a pleading voice, praying for the answer to be yes. Dr Martin looked at him compassionately and pulled a paper out.

"Mr Hudson, I'm really sorry but we have to transfer Briella to the Pediatric Cancer Treatment Center immediately" he said in a serious tone. Finn gasped and suddenly he felt unable to breathe. His throat felt dry and cramped together. Cancer. His little girl had cancer.

"What…how…" he asked in confusion. A wave of nausea hit him and threatened to swallow him completely.

"I understand that you're confused right now. It's important for you to know that there's no one to blame. In the laboratory they found an alarmingly high number of leukocytes in Briella's blood which…" he said but Finn interrupted him quickly.

"A number of what?" he asked "I'm already confused enough".

"Of course, I'm sorry. Leukocytes are white blood cells" Dr Martin replied.

"What does that mean?" asked Finn and desperately clutched the armrest of his chair. He needed to hold onto something because right now he felt as if someone had swept him off of his feet.

"It's means that it's very likely that your daughter suffers from leukemia" Dr Martin said and now there was no holding back. Tears rolled down his cheeks and everything Finn wanted to do was to take Briella into his arms and hold her and never let go. He didn't know much about leukemia but he knew that it was some sort of cancer and that it was just as deadly as every other form of cancer. One big question formed in his mind: Why Briella? Why his little girl?

"What's going to happen now? I mean, they'll be able to cure her, right?" Finn asked desperately.

"Well, the first thing we'll do is to transfer Briella to the treatment center. There they'll do a bone marrow extermination to be absolutely sure and in case Briella really suffers from leukemia, the doctors at the center will talk to you about everything and ob course they'll do everything in their might to cure the cancer. But leukemia is a beyond serious decease, I' not going to lie about that, but there's always hope" he said and then he started dialing a number on his phone.

"What are you doing now?" Finn asked and tried to breathe deeply to suppress the tears but failed miserably.

"I'm calling an ambulance to take Briella to the center as fast as possible. In case of leukemia there's no time left to lose. I suggest that you go and get Briella and then the ambulance will take you to the clinic immerdiately" Dr Martin said. Then someone on the other end of the line picked up the phone and he started talking hastily into the speaker. Finn got up slowly. His entire body felt empty and his limbs were stiff. At the moment he felt like puking and everything was just too much. He went over to the playing area were Briella sat, bent over a puzzle with ponies and completely unaware of what was happening.

"Briella?" Finn whispered in a broken voice and the little girl looked up. When Finn saw her huge blue eyes, even more tears made their way down his cheeks.

"Daddy, why are you crying? Are you sad?" Briella asked, her voice full of concern as she went over to him. She extended her arms and Finn picked her up, hugging her tightly. He buried his nose in her brown hair and repeatedly kissed her head.

"Is it bad?" she asked quietly. Finn didn't know what to tell her. He didn't want to lie to her but the telling the truth was just too terrible to say it out loud.

"I'm scared" she said and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck.

"Don't be. I'm here, no matter what" he replied and started rubbing her back in small circles.

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Briella started crying during the ride in the ambulance. Finn knew that she was terrified and even though he held her in his arms all the time she had been barely able to calm down. She had just kept asking what was going on and it killed Finn to see Briella like this. He would've taken her spot immediately if only he could. Dr Martin had already signed them up int the clinic so after the ride a nurse led them to a room instantly.

"Daddy, please, I'm so afraid" Briella said and buried her tearful face in Finn's shoulder. He had to carry her because she was way too weak to walk. She just cried quietly to herself and Finn felt a little helpless because he didn't know what he could do to comfort her. In the halls of the clinic they met no one but Finn was a bit surprised because it didn't look like a typical hospital in here. The walls were painted in a bright orange and many drawings and posters were pinned up there and it didn't seem cold or bleak like hospitals usually did. But then he remembered that this wasn't a normal hospital after all. It was a cancer treatment center for children.

"Mr Hudson, that's the room" said the nurse and pushed a door open. Finn entered the room and in here it looked just as friendly and open as in the halls. The walls were painted in a beautiful green color, like a meadow in spring with various animals, dogs, cats, horses, rabbits. The sheets on the bed were light blue with tons of butterflies and two big windows flooded the room with sunlight. Briella lifted her head and with her sleeve she wiped her eyes.

"Mr Hudson, we will do the bone marrow examination as soon as possible. In a few minutes a nurse will come by and give Briella an anesthesia. We need to know what's going on quickly" she said and after Finn nodded, she left the room. When they were alone Finn sat down on the bed and placed Briella gently on the sheets.

"Daddy, do I have to stay here?" she asked and her bottom lip quivered.

"I don't know, baby girl. I don't know how to explain it…um….well, something's happening in your body and we're here because the doctors need to find out what it is. And maybe you have to stay here to cure the illness" said Finn and stroked her forehead lightly. The terrified expression on her face caused Finn's heart to break and he just placed himself next to her on the sheets, pulling her shivering body close to show her that he loved her and that she wasn't alone.

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**Rachel will make her entrance in the next chapter :)**

**Please let me know what you think about the story so far and leave a review**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter 3, guys :)**

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Finn sat on a bench in front of the operating room and his face was buried in his hands. Now it was official, Briella's diagnosis was acute lymphoblastic leukemia. The little girl was still in the room waking up from her anesthesia for the bone marrow examination and Finn had received the shocking news just minutes ago. A doctor had dropped the bomb on him and then he had just left without further explanation. He thought about yesterday and the day before, when their life had been on track but today their world had been turned upside down. Everything had changed overnight. He didn't know how to feel or what to think and he had absolutely no clue about what was going to happen now. The only thing he knew was that the doctors would do everything in their power to save Briella but cancer was always dangerous. A sob escaped his lips and he felt hot tears starting to form in his eyes, tears of desperation and fear. He wanted to see her and wanted to know that she was alive, at least for now but he had to wait until she was fully awake and the doctors had brought her back to her room.

"Are you Briella's dad?" a soft voice suddenly asked. Finn lifted up his head slowly and his gaze met two big, warm, chocolate brown eyes. He blinked a few times to see clearer through the clouding of his tears and then he realized the tiny person standing in front of him. It was a slender woman in white clothing, obviously a nurse, and she had slightly curled, dark brown hair and a beautiful face. Her nose was a little bit on the large side but it suited her perfectly and her pink lips where full and perfectly shaped. The most amazing thing however, were her eyes. They sparkled like diamonds and an indescribable amount of strength radiated from them. For a moment Finn was mesmerized and almost got lost in the color of melted chocolate but then her brows wrinkled and Finn snapped out of his trance.

"Yeah, I am her father" he said and with the back of his hand he wiped a few tears away.

"I…I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am and that we'll do everything that's possible to cure her" she said and a compassionate expression was visible all over her face.

"It just seems so surreal. I mean, I know what cancer is but I have no idea what's going to happen now and I'm so afraid that she might…" he said but his voice broke off and again just a sob escaped his throat.

"That she might die" she finished his sentence. Finn nodded and for a few seconds they both remained silent. Then her pretty (and not to mention very kissable-looking) lips twitched into a soft smile.

"Can I show you something?" she asked and extended her hand towards him. Finn took it and yes, he did realize how soft her skin was and how well her tiny hand fit into his huge paw. Finn got up and when she let go of his hand he almost wished that she would've held it a little longer. To say he was surprised was an understatement because, seriously? They just met a few minutes ago.

"By the way, I'm nurse Rachel Berry. But Rachel is fine" she said and smile at him as they walked down the halls. Her beaming smile was gigantic, it lit up her entire face and Finn thought that she looked so cute wearing it.

"I'm Finn. Finn Hudson" he said and smiled back. He swore that she blushed a little and with a giggle she ducked down her head. A few minutes and several corridors later Rachel suddenly stopped in front of a wall. They were in the tract with the orange painted walls again and by now Finn assumed that this was where all the bedrooms of the children were. He looked up the wall and spotted a poster hanging up there. It showed around 50 faces of children and they all smiled happily and relieved. Beneath it there were many names. Sarah Baxton, Jonathan Miller, Sally Tompson…But they all had another thing in common: None of them had a single hair left on its head. Finn knew that people with cancer lost all their hair because of chemotherapy and he realized that soon Briella would lose her beautiful brown hair as well. He had to swallow thickly at the thought of it.

"What's that?" he asked finally and looked a Rachel, a little confused. She chuckled lightly and then looked at the poster herself.  
"These are all the children who have been in here and won the fight against cancer. We pin up a photo of every kid which we could release as cured" she said and then turned towards him.

"And you know what? In about a year I see a photo of Briella hanging up there as well" she said in a promising voice.

"A year?" Finn asked dumbfounded.

"Yes. Cancer therapy takes about a year at least" she replied. Finn said nothing, he just looked back at the wall. All these kids had already made it and he hoped so much that his little girl would make it as well.

"How high is the chance?" he asked fearfully.

"Which chance?" she replied.

"The chance of surviving" he answered and feared that she'd say that the chance was very low or something.

"Well, it depends on many factors like age and health and stuff but in general leukemia is fairly curable. But it's still cancer, you can't forget that" she said and Finn nodded silently. Then he felt a tiny hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. He turned towards her and the comforting look in her eyes made him feel a lot less lost in here.

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When they were back in front of the operating room none of them said a word and Finn was beyond thankful for that because if he had opened his mouth he most likely would've burst into tears again. Somehow she seemed to feel how he felt and that fascinated him. When the door of the operating room opened a doctor stepped out and walked straight over to Finn.

"Mr Hudson, my colleague already told you the verdict, right?" he said and looked at him questioningly.

"Yes" replied Finn in almost a whisper.

"Then I suggest you go home and bring some of Briella's things, like clothes and everything else she needs and we'll start the chemotherapy as soon as possible" he said and scribbled something down on his clipboard.

"Wait… I don't know anything about this. How will this therapy proceed and…" he said but the doctor interrupted him.

"You will get a complete overview about the risks of chemotherapy and everything else later or tomorrow but I can assure you that this therapy is absolutely necessary" he said.

"I understand" Finn replied. Then the doctor nodded and walked off. Just then the door of the operating room opened again and a whole bunch of doctors wheeled Briella down the halls in one of those huge hospital beds. Finn caught a glimpse of her and she looked still not fully awake. His heart started racing a million miles per second as he and Rachel followed them to Briella's room.

"Stay calm. Everything will be alright" she said in a soothing voice and touched his arm lightly.

"I just don't know how to tell her. I can't lie to her but I can't tell her the truth either. How do you explain to your child that it has a serious and potentially deadly decease? And I can't tell her because I know that I'll start crying like a baby which would scare her to death and that's the last thing I want and…" he stammered and then his throat became dry again and fresh tears burnt in his eyes. Rachel once again just squeezed his shoulder, letting him know that she was there.

"It's ok to cry. But you have to be strong now. She needs you, you're her dad and she relies on your support. But I understand how you feel right now and I'll help you. We'll explain it to her together" she said and looked at him with her big, honest eyes. Finn gave her the most thankful smile he could muster at the moment.

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**Please review and share your thoughts with me :)**


	4. RIP Cory Author's note

**Hello everyone**. Because of the tragic loss of Cory Monteith I can't continue writing a Finchel fanfiction, at least not now. He was my hero and I loved and supported him so much and now I'm sad beyond words. I'm speechless and I hope you all understand. I don't know how to feel about Finchel and Glee in general anymore, the only thing I can do right now is crying and sitting beside a lit candle hoping that he's happy wherever he is now. Rest in peace, Cory, you're missed deeply and my thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends and especially Lea Michele. Stay strong, Lea!

**To every single one of you:** In case you need someone to talk to or simply a shoulder to cry on, feel free to PM me. I could use somebody as well, my friends and family don't understand because they think that Glee's stupid and childish and they don't even know who Cory Monteith was. All the Gleeks out there have to stick together these days, right?

Love, DefyingGravity1103


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